Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
