What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I supernannyed him into submission
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
