It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
