I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
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something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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