Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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