dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's shark week go big or go home
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
