We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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