I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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