I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
