did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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