So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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