Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
