Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
