some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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