Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
