is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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