i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
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