He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
