He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
