please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
