I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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