Don't you send me to vm
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
