SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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