I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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