On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
