We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
