Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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