And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
