even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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