Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize