i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
