I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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