Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
