I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
