we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
