i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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