i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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