the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
