So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
