I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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