I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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