so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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