I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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