I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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