am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
