five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
