I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
