he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
