It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
BRING THE BAGELS
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
