have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
