whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
