dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Panties = found
and eventually we just all took our pants off
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize