Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no, he came in my armpit
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
