They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
