I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
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there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
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My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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