are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
