hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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