Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
