I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
