i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Edward fifth and chaser hands
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I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
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