Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
